A Nightmare


i dreamt last night. i don't dream that often anymore. wait, that's not true. someone once told me that we always dream, but most of the time, we just don't remember them. well, i dreamt last night. i know i did because i remember it. i remember it pretty well. i remember it pretty well because i was paralyzed by fear.

you were in my dream. your face was unclear, but i knew it was you. i knew it was you because of the feelings i felt towards you. because i felt love for you, trust in you, a healthy dependence on you to get us out of this ridiculous maze.

the sky looked like it was falling, dark, ominous.. a slither of sun still resting, though barely, above the horizon as it slowly makes its descent into the night sky. we are on a university campus, familiar to you but unfamiliar to me, perhaps somewhere in san diego, or perhaps somewhere in tucson. familiar to you because you knew your way around, unfamiliar to me because i had never been there before. you had been there before, clearly. you led the way, and i followed. you walked quickly, sometimes too quickly, sometimes i would lose you, but then i'd walk faster, and i'd see your well-styled hair, and my anxiously beating heart would find some peace, and slow down, to a healthier pulse.

at some point in my dream - my dreams make little sense, my dreams have no chronological order - but at some point in my dream, eight of us sit in a giant tub. it's bigger than a jacuzzi but smaller than a pool. this giant tub is somewhere on this university campus. a campus familiar to you. unfamiliar to me. you made your way to this tub, and i followed you there.

some conversation went. and i remember noticing some weights at the bottom of the water-filled tub. i remember hearing someone say something like yeah, we're not supposed to have weights in the pool... they're trying to make some kind of rule prohibiting that... and i remember slowly shifting one of the weights to the side with my feet. i was afraid it would land on my feet. i was afraid it would hurt. i thought moving it to the side would help, but somehow, by doing so, the weight slid out from the giant tub entirely. it somehow fell under the tub. it caused the giant tub to lose equilibrium as if the weight was the only thing holding it in place, and the giant tub started to swing like a giant pendulum, like that giant ship ride that swing backs and forth at the santa monica pier.

at some point, the giant tub stopped swinging and landed. it shattered to pieces. some people were hurt, while some others tightly grasped large shards of broken acrylic, for balance perhaps. i was hurt. i knew i was hurt because i was bleeding. i could feel the warm viscous substance slither down my thigh. the smell of iron filling my nostrils.

i look for you. but you had already made your way out of the giant tub and across the field. i call for you, but no sound comes out. i don't remember where we parked. i don't know my way. this place is unfamiliar. i've never been here before. it's getting dark. really dark. the menacing night sky is hungry for something. what, i don't know. i think i might have lost my contacts in the giant tub accident.

i make my way out of the shattered remains of the giant tub, and go towards the direction where i saw you last. this blood just won't stop trickling down my leg. somehow, i make my way to you. by accident, perhaps. you don't turn around. you walk quickly towards something, the car perhaps? i follow as best i can.

suddenly, you begin to walk faster, much faster. i can't keep up. again i call for you, i call for you to slow down, but nothing comes out. it's so dark now, i can't see, i can't see because it's dark and because i'm halfway blind. i don't know where i am. i don't where i'm going. my leg, it hurts. my pulse is racing now, so many beats a minute i'm having trouble breathing. where are you... where are you... i'm scared, please don't leave me here...

at every corner turn, i think i'll see you and your well-styled hair there, waiting for me. but you're not. you're not because i never saw you. in the hysteria of trying to find my way to you, an aberrant and thorny vine catches my bleeding leg. its thorns dig further and further into my flesh as the blood from my injured thigh drips down to its roots, feeding it for the first time in days. the more flesh and blood it tastes, the more it thirsts. the more i panic and fight against it, the quicker its arms grasp each of my limbs, whirling and wrapping its way around each and every part of my body. little thorns pierce my skin with such savagery. the more i try to peel each arm off of me, the more i try to pick each thorn out of me, the more trapped i become. i writhe in pain.

still, i think i'll see you and your well-styled hair any minute. i think you'll turn around and notice that i'm not there. i think i'll see your face any minute now. but i don't. i know i don't because the last thing i see is the blurred black sky in all its sinister gloom, in this unfamiliar place, with no one at all around me.